the behaviors i have dealt with over the last few months

anger
vandalism
defiance
domestic battery
attitude
lack of respect for authority
blaming others
0-60 and not knowing where it was going
and the list goes on-

if you have an adolescent you may have dealt with these behaviors and maybe to extremes
so some of you may know what i am talking about- some may have no clue
keep pressing on keep moving forward - keep getting the help you all need and realize you are not alone

I am not alone - Kari Jobe

When I walk through deep waters
I know that you will be with me
When I'm standing in the fire
I will not be overcome

Through the valley of the shadow
Oh I will not fear

I am not alone
I am not alone
You will go before me
You will never leave me

In the midst of deep sorrow
I see your light is breaking through
The dark night will not over take me
I am pressing into you
Lord you fight my every battle
And I will not fear

You amaze me
Redeem me
You call me as your own

You're my strength
You're my defender
You're my refuge in the storm

Through these trials
You have always been faithful
You bring healing to my soul

Parents you are not alone- I am back

I have taken a back seat from writing here for a while not sure why - may be cause things were going smoothly- until more recently oh we have had our behavior issues but not like recently

have you ever felt you were on an island when parenting and no one truly understands what you are going through with the special kids that we have been given to raise. yeah me too. oh i have amazing amazing people in my life. they are there for me but there are times at night when i sit and think how in the world am i going to make it through.

been recently dealing with some behaviors of my sons that I will share in my next post- a more detailed of what my days can consist of. I know i am not alone in this - so I want to make sure you all are not alone- stay tuned for more frequent posts.

Children and Sports

I love the fact sports are a good outlet for kids- and I think for kids with behavioral issues it can be used as a great outlet. If you can get your kids active- use it as incentive! It will make a difference in their lives- I am sure you have something in your community that will have something for your child-
Upwards is a great organization to be involved with.

Bullying

How many of you have children that have been bullied or they do the bullying?
Well- my son has now been on both spectrums- and as the side of being bullied its not a good thing
and it tears you up as a mother-

so here are a few suggestions on the side of being bullied that I have learned

1. if your children's behavior changes  from what it normally has been - talk to them and see if anything else is going on- whether it be at school or anywhere else. if they won't talk with you maybe they will open up to someone- a coach - a mentor - a family member- a friend of the family. In our case he opened up to a very close family friend ( they are family). In which I am thankful for- this opened the door for me

2. find out when it started and make sure you get the details of the situations
3. contact the school contact the school contact the school
4. have a meeting at the school with all his teachers and administration- be your child's advocate and stay on top of the school if they don't get involved-
5. remind your child to make sure they speak up- my son did not want to say anything because he thought it would all go away. tell them its ok to speak up and or write it down and give to a person in authority the school

You as the parent be involved!!!

A resource in Tampa to help

Are you in the Tampa Bay area? Are you having some issues with behaviors? Well here is a resource for you- I am not being paid to endorse this I just believe in a good thing- However with any good resource and idea it will take your commitment as parent to work on the behaviors with your child- being consistent, believe in yourself and remember it will take a little bit of time to correct the unwanted behaviors

http://health.usf.edu/medicine/pediatrics/child_dev_neuro/HOTDOCS.htm

setting limits - being consistent-having consequences

if you set up limits for your child or rules we as parents need to follow through with them and be consistent-
we need to give our kids rules they need to know they are held accountable and consequences will occur if they do not follow the rules
I found when we were going through behavioral issues we needed to change up the consequence and even adjust the rules to make sure the consistency was there-
I think it is so important you have those discussions with your children about the rules and consequences and you follow through

for younger kids make picture boards - if you throw a toy then you have to put the toy away and lose it
older kids if you lie you lose electronics

this way they know if you do this then this will happen- this worked so well for me- had to change up the then part as we got older and things of importance changed but he knew I was not playing.

limits- consistency- consequences

Lying

raise your hand if you have dealt with lying or dealing with it now- me me me- I am jumping up and down for this one. I know its an age thing but whew- can not wait til this phase passes. so what do you do when a child lies?
Well encourage the truth to be told- for my son he tells lies because he does not want to get in trouble- well that is not working well for him.
This past weekend he learned that lying has consequences. He had an opportunity to lie tonight but proudly can say he took a moment and spoke the truth. I praised him for that. Catch them doing the right thing.
Relay to them how important honesty is and how important trust is- I know he will get it its just a matter of time