setting limits - being consistent-having consequences

if you set up limits for your child or rules we as parents need to follow through with them and be consistent-
we need to give our kids rules they need to know they are held accountable and consequences will occur if they do not follow the rules
I found when we were going through behavioral issues we needed to change up the consequence and even adjust the rules to make sure the consistency was there-
I think it is so important you have those discussions with your children about the rules and consequences and you follow through

for younger kids make picture boards - if you throw a toy then you have to put the toy away and lose it
older kids if you lie you lose electronics

this way they know if you do this then this will happen- this worked so well for me- had to change up the then part as we got older and things of importance changed but he knew I was not playing.

limits- consistency- consequences

Lying

raise your hand if you have dealt with lying or dealing with it now- me me me- I am jumping up and down for this one. I know its an age thing but whew- can not wait til this phase passes. so what do you do when a child lies?
Well encourage the truth to be told- for my son he tells lies because he does not want to get in trouble- well that is not working well for him.
This past weekend he learned that lying has consequences. He had an opportunity to lie tonight but proudly can say he took a moment and spoke the truth. I praised him for that. Catch them doing the right thing.
Relay to them how important honesty is and how important trust is- I know he will get it its just a matter of time

Mental Health Awareness

I think it is important to realize that some of our children suffer from mental health issues- I know for my son he suffered from multiple issues-

PTSD- yes he did and it occasionally pops up from time to time- you see he was abused in his foster home way back when and it traumatized him- we rarely have those flashbacks anymore but from time to time things come up, however he has learned to cope and learned to deal with them in a healthy way- we talk we discuss and we continue on- no outbursts no tantrums.

ADHD- yes hyperactivity is part of ADHD but his issue was more impulsive than anything. he still becomes hyper when he gets tired and sometimes forgets how to cope during those times- he controls his impulsivity.

RAD- Reactive Attachment Disorder- he had signs of this in multiple fashions- this we still have some slight issues with still- he does not want to go anywhere without me. He only feels safe with certain people and when it comes to being in crowds of a lot of people he has some anxiety. I have learned how to see the signs and we work them and cope. Most the time successfully but occasional we have a oops time

Mood Disorder- yes multiple issues with my son and I dealt with him- he would be happy and working it all out one minute and the next minute you thought terror reigned in our house. I would never know when my son would be nice son or violent aggressive son.

I got him help, we were in therapy for months and years weekly - then there was a day that it all came unraveled - I was scared of my son- he was 9. This was not a good place to be- he spent pretty much 3 months in and out of the Crisis Unit until I was able to get him to a 24 hour 7days a week Residential Facility- broke my heart to do this but was the best thing I could have ever done for him, for us.

He is a different child -honor roll- athlete- loves God- tender heart- amazing young man- We got help - and he is on medication and they say he should be off of the medication by the time he is 18. If not that is ok-
We know how to deal with things- we talk we breathe we cope. We continue to learn we continue to get help when we need it. We are a better family because we seeked the help that was necessary. Never be ashamed of getting the help you need.