Impulse Control: Helping ADHD Students Manage Their Behaviors

This is an incomplete article from Additude magazine- please visit website - I have added my comments in the article as well with what I have experienced.

ADHD children often get in trouble for acting on their impulses. Find techniques for home and school that will help children with attention deficit disorder learn to rein in bad behaviors.
by ADDitude Editors

The problem: Children with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) are often labeled unruly or aggressive because of their impulsive physical and social interactions. Even though these children can be caring and sensitive, their good qualities are often overshadowed by their impulsivity. I know this is true for me as a parent- the aggressive and unruly behavior often overshadows the good behavior- as parents we need to make that conscious effort-of looking at the good more often-we often are overwhelmed though by the impulsive behaviors
The reason: Children with ADHD act before they think, often unable to control their initial response to a situation. The ability to "self-regulate" is compromised; they can't modify their behavior with future consequences in mind. Some studies show that differences in the brain in those who have ADHD are partly responsible for this symptom.
The obstacles: Many children with ADHD seem to spend their lives in time-out, grounded, or in trouble for what they say and do. The lack of impulse control is perhaps the most difficult symptom of ADHD to modify. It takes years of patience and persistence to successfully turn this around. patience is the key and I know for myself- I have learned a lot of patience and deal with being consistent- and honestly at times I do lose my patience and go off my consistency cause you get tired of dealing with it- my advice realize what you do and get back on track- take a break- have a friend or family member watch your child for a couple hours or just be with others for a while- both of these have helped me so much to get refocused on what I need to do to help my son.
Solutions at Home & School
-- Discipline can and should be used in certain situations. While ADHD is an explanation for bad behavior, it is never an excuse. ADHD may explain why Johnny hit Billy, but ADHD did not make him do it. Children with ADHD need to understand their responsibility to control themselves.
-- Discipline should be immediate, short, and swift. Delayed consequences, such as detention, don't work for those with difficulty anticipating future outcomes. Consequences must be instantaneous: If he pushes another child on the playground, recess is suspended for 10 minutes. At school make sure you are on board with what they are doing as far as consequences and referrals and such- there is no excuse for lack of self control- talk to your school teachers - have an open discussion- communicate with them daily if you have too- if my son is having an off day in the morning- I will contact them to let them know- if he has an off day during the day they call me and let me know- sometimes we talk every day for a week to make sure he gets back on track- you are their advocate stay involved with the teachers and learn to trust what they do- some of the best advise is from my son's teachers.
-- Provide positive feedback too. Be sure to also offer immediate, positive feedback and attention when ADHD kids behave well. Catch them doing something good. Specifically state what they are doing well, such as waiting their turn. yes yes yes- the smile they give you when they have make good choices and you acknowledge them- makes me smile inside

Solutions at Home
Children with ADHD have difficulty telling right and wrong, so parents must be specific, stating clear, consistent expectations and consequences. Telling your child to "be good" is too vague. Instead, be explicit: "When we go into the store, do not touch, just look with your eyes." "At the playground, wait in line for the slide, and don't push." Other strategies to try:
-- Be proactive in your approach to discipline. Respond to positive and negative behaviors equally. Recognize and remark on the behavior, then respond to positive actions with praise, attention, and rewards or immediately discipline negative actions. this is something I have to consciously work on- because I know I over react to the negative behaviors- this is where help from his therapist-teachers- behavior specialist and our pastors have helped so much.
-- Hold your child accountable. Making your child understand what he did wrong is essential in molding a responsible adult. However, delayed punishment may prevent a child from understanding its relationship to the misbehavior. Punishment must come soon after the misbehavior. hold them accountable - make sure you let them know you do not like the behavior and you still love them- I do not like what my son does and yet I still love him because he has so much special qualities about him
-- Let the punishment fit the crime. Hitting calls for an immediate time out. Dinnertime tantrums can mean dismissal from the table without dessert. Keep punishments brief and restrained, but let them communicate to your child that he's responsible for controlling his behavior. good - I will work on this one-
-- Let minor misbehavior slide. If your child spills the milk because he's pouring it carelessly or hurriedly, talk to him about the importance of moving more slowly, help him clean the mess, and move on. Every misstep doesn't warrant significant consequences. I am still learning to let the small issues slide and just correct him and help him understand the importance of making a better choice the next time something occurs-I do role playing with my son- he can then help visualize- For example- "Fred" how would you feel if "Leny" hit you- and wait for his response - usually sad or mad comes up-then I would reply well when you did that to Leny- it made him sad and mad and it hurt him. think before you react to hit him- so you do not make him sad or mad

As a parent make that extra effort to find the good- I know I know at times it is so difficult and when you are at your wits end it is time to take a break- allow someone to help you- I know for me this is such a benefit cause I can refocus and renew myself